The bed is a torture chamber.

I have never been in so much pain in my life.  I feel like absolute hell.  It's a horrible cycle.  I can't sleep because i am in pain and I am in pain because I can't sleep.  And all of this is a result of going for a hike three weeks ago.  This pain is so deep in my body.  It's been absolute hell... i can't relax and spent about 200 hundred dollars and then some at the chiropractor.  Sometimes it seems like the easy way to quit but i know i can't.  The bed is like a torture chamber.  No matter how many times i put the fucking pad on different parts of my body the pain still resides.  It's okay to cry.  It's okay to feel like shit.  It's okay to want to give up.  It's okay that other people don't understand what it's like to have pain so deep you want to die.  It's okay that I can't go out at night.  It's okay that i feel left out and outcast.  It's okay that i was in car accident and my shoulders hurt like fucking hell.  It's been hell the past few months. Between trying different natural remedies to sleep, the car accident, & now this stupid hike.  I tell people what's it like and they tell me to go to the doctor.  The doctor won't do a fucking thing for me.  Sometimes it's so hard to hold on.  I pray to got that this pain subsides and i can feel the light again.  Please God help me. 

Low - Drag

Experiencing pain and feeling Low. I am allowed to wallow once in a while. Isolation.

The Decemberists - "The Mariner's Revenge Song"

So SEXY.

Colin Meloy ..

Colin Meloy is one of the most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes on.  Creative, nerdy, innocent,  musical, & sexy.  His voice is incredibly sexy and I go crazy for this man.  He is incredible to watch live... HIS PASSION..... mmmmmmm ......  My favorite thing to do when i can't sleep is watch Oceanside and pretend I am Annabelle and dream of kissing him passionately  while we lay on the ocean shore.  Colin seems to understand my physical pain .


Sweet Anabelle...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuBOiQ9dMgA

As seen reclining on an ocean swell

As the waves do lather up to lay her down

'til she's fast...

And sleeping

Oh well

I guess I'm something of a ne'er-do-well

Who fell asleep at the pealing of the steeple bell



I'm on track and keeping

But oh

If I could only get you ocean side

To lay your muscles wide... < ( the most beautiful lyric)

It'd be heavenly

Oh...

If I could only coax you overboard

To leave these lolling shores

To get you oceanside.

**Taken by Trees*To Lose Someone [Victoria Bergsman]

I'm on a role with videos :) This has always been a LONG time favorite-----

Orenda Fink - Why Is The Night Sad?

I had this running through my brain this morning.... Meanwhile I enjoyed some incredible broccoli from the farmers market. The most incredible broccoli I have ever had... so sweeet, so soft.

Gurudev hindi song

LOVE LOVE.

My spirit flies to you - Monjes Budistas

SIMPLY BLISS.... UNENDING LOVE OF GOD.

Brian Eno & David Byrne "Strange Overtones"

Was delighted to hear this little diddy on my way to hobby lobby to pick up some toggles. I got two cute little jewelry toggles- one is shaped like a flower and the other is a leaf... can't wait to make some new pieces... :)

Nirmala Rajasekar Veena. Concert 2007 USA

I am so excited to see Nirmala Rajasekar Veena next Wednesday! I will pick up my ticket tomorrow!

LCD Soundsystem - Dance Yrself Clean

When i am in my car I almost always listening to the current. I have heard this song quite frequently lately and i love it!

DEEP layers...

I have had this canvas for a while. It has many deep layers. So here it sits in my parent's garage untouched and unloved. I tried to find the gesso to prime it for another piece but don't feel like moving the ladder about- it's heavy!

Many moons ago... dark and lovely

I will always treasure this box. It was my aunt's when she was little and I adopted it when i was a wee one- i've had it for many moons and this is proof that my art takes on different themes and personalities as i age ... this box was made with passion and pain. I have endured pain's darkest hour. As i sit here and listen to Deva I have come a L-O-N-G way from healing many aspects of myself through meditation, hands on healing, prayer, energy work, putting my life into a spritual master's hands, and surrendering to the will of God. Fibromyalgia can be healed.

ps. I have a thing with women's faces. They cover my body and are often a theme in my collage art.

Bug Haiku

A bug in the air.
A bug flying in my hair.
Bug in my brown curls.

Feisty in my head

I am unable to get feist out of my head all weeeeek. She's been playing in my head non stop! And wouldn't you know it this lovely song was playing at my friends party as soon as i delicately pushed open her screen door...

Feist - Intuition @ Yahoo! Video

Feist How my Heart Behaves

Pascale Petit reading at the International Helicon "Shaar" festival 2009

Jewelry for sale by me :)

Beautiful ocean jasper with a silver toggle clasp... $30 - made with LOVE!

PJ HARVEY video COME ON BILLY

lily for you.

I give a lily to you. This lily of mine was featured in International tattoo magazine last year. The artist is Karl Schneider and you can check out his portfolio at cactustattoo.com. I also have a pin-up design by the Chicago based artist Mitch O' Connell that is featured in Karl's portfolio.

Despite being hormonal and extremely overwhelmed by modern technology I am still able to type these words and click "publish post". (Actually i have had to go back and edit a 5 times!) Between the self check out at wally world and viewing Toy Story 3 a girl is technologically exhausted. For such a simple girl viewing a movie in the theater is something that happens very rarely! I wanted to share this lily with you that is near and dear to my sensitive heart before i lay my head on my pillow and begin to dream...

Felt flowers & Ocean Jasper...

My mum surprised me with this beautiful handmade felt pressed flower today. What a nice surprise! All of these designs are 100% unique and no 2 are ever duplicated. Also I picked up some Ocean Jasper today to make a new necklace... along with some medium heavy wire and some clasps. I had a lovely dinner ( fresh beets and wild caught salmon with rice and black beans) and made some marinated salmon with fresh lemon juice, organic garlic, tomatoes, and cilantro that i picked at the market... it was a bit wilted but it did the job and I love knowing the farmer who grew it :) I look forward to lunch tomorrow! What a beautiful day i couldn't of asked for more! Okay- well maybe well wishes for the man who was planted in the middle of the street during rush hour with his flashers on to be carried away to a far off distant land...

Thrift store finds.

I scored some beautiful earrings on my last trip up to Minneapolis- i love to thrift store shop and find good deals! I am fanatic for beautiful vintage/artistic/handmade/costume jewelry ... My dresser is full of metal, earring posts, old fair trade beads, and beautiful necklaces that I have purchased at various art festivals! These are tricky to find things to wear them with because they are big!

Taste of Thailand

I was fortunate enough to get my hands on some Red veggie curry today. It was such a delight! We used to have a great thai place- but the lady could not balance business & family. Oh how i miss you so! It was such a nice treat- along with visiting some used bookstores and the eye of the horus. I was like a kid in a candy store for the first time- overwhelmed with the amount of used books to pick from. I settled on 2 lovely books I plan to begin reading after I read the other 4 I am reading. LOL

Plagued by perfume.

I have finally found a spot to nestle myself in at church on Monday nights. Ususally no matter where i sit I am plagued with the smell of perfume, cologne, or cigarettes. Alas! I found a place to breathe and rejoice while breathing in fresh oxygen! Now the trick is to get there 6 minutes early to secure the safe spot : )

Pain.

I am in pain. I have been in pain for the past 4 days. I haven't been sleeping that well and getting up at the wee crack of dawn ( 8am ) for the past 5 days. I am in pain and I want to be held & loved- meanwhile the tv is yelling. And i want to get it out there that I would rather go deaf than hear another television set again. I never want to own or be anywhere near a television- it hurts my being deeply. Please someone take this numbing pain away. Tina take care of me.

Lorellei - Spiritus

I can't get enough this multi-cultural journey of the spirit cd called Prayer~ Spiritus has a track singing the Prayer of St. Francis... makes my heart bloom and blossom.

June 12th marks the new moon

Saturday June 12th marks the date of the new moon. I plan to nourish my spirit and soul by cleansing my essence and making way for the beautiful and bold. The night before the new moon is a time to set the intention on your goals, aspirations, inspirations, dreams, and surrender to the healing power of the goddess. Draw yourself a nice bath with some essential oils~ and celtic sea salts. It's a time to focus on love flowing in your life and opening your heart to new possabilites and evocative epiphanies. A sacred time to honour your desires and to spend some quiet time reflecting. I look forward to a beautiful evening of redirection and meditation~

"Come holy spirit- goddess beloved of my soul-

I beseech to you

enlighten me, guide me, & fill me with love

whisper your will into my heart

fill my soul with VISION."

Untititled drawing

Tonight was lovely. A dear spiritual friend gave me a drawing she did for me of the kundalini energy rising. So sweet : ) It's the little things that I love. It's the simple things i cherish. It's the genuine love that i love to feel. As soon as a find a working camera ( mine is duct taped, broken, mamed, and sad- sitting in my bedroom dresser drawer with some old hats that wreak of old VS perfume) I will post a picture. Sweet dreams for beautiful tomorrows.... guten nacht.

Hello world.

Hello world. I am happy to be officially one with the world of blogging. I tried to set up an acct with wordpress but it was way too confusing and I prefer things simple, colourful, & sweet. So here i am. I have lebanese soup packed for tomorrow's lunch and getting ready to head out the door to meditate with some friends. Thankfully I can meditate in peace knowing that the ants are not overtaking the downstairs bathroom. My brother recently shared some profound artwork of his as of late- and i wanted to share it with you lovleys. And if your wondering how my spider plant named black willow is doing. She's fine and she's desperately missing the beautiful thing in the sky called the sun.