The bed is a torture chamber.

I have never been in so much pain in my life.  I feel like absolute hell.  It's a horrible cycle.  I can't sleep because i am in pain and I am in pain because I can't sleep.  And all of this is a result of going for a hike three weeks ago.  This pain is so deep in my body.  It's been absolute hell... i can't relax and spent about 200 hundred dollars and then some at the chiropractor.  Sometimes it seems like the easy way to quit but i know i can't.  The bed is like a torture chamber.  No matter how many times i put the fucking pad on different parts of my body the pain still resides.  It's okay to cry.  It's okay to feel like shit.  It's okay to want to give up.  It's okay that other people don't understand what it's like to have pain so deep you want to die.  It's okay that I can't go out at night.  It's okay that i feel left out and outcast.  It's okay that i was in car accident and my shoulders hurt like fucking hell.  It's been hell the past few months. Between trying different natural remedies to sleep, the car accident, & now this stupid hike.  I tell people what's it like and they tell me to go to the doctor.  The doctor won't do a fucking thing for me.  Sometimes it's so hard to hold on.  I pray to got that this pain subsides and i can feel the light again.  Please God help me. 

Low - Drag

Experiencing pain and feeling Low. I am allowed to wallow once in a while. Isolation.

The Decemberists - "The Mariner's Revenge Song"

So SEXY.

Colin Meloy ..

Colin Meloy is one of the most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes on.  Creative, nerdy, innocent,  musical, & sexy.  His voice is incredibly sexy and I go crazy for this man.  He is incredible to watch live... HIS PASSION..... mmmmmmm ......  My favorite thing to do when i can't sleep is watch Oceanside and pretend I am Annabelle and dream of kissing him passionately  while we lay on the ocean shore.  Colin seems to understand my physical pain .


Sweet Anabelle...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuBOiQ9dMgA

As seen reclining on an ocean swell

As the waves do lather up to lay her down

'til she's fast...

And sleeping

Oh well

I guess I'm something of a ne'er-do-well

Who fell asleep at the pealing of the steeple bell



I'm on track and keeping

But oh

If I could only get you ocean side

To lay your muscles wide... < ( the most beautiful lyric)

It'd be heavenly

Oh...

If I could only coax you overboard

To leave these lolling shores

To get you oceanside.

**Taken by Trees*To Lose Someone [Victoria Bergsman]

I'm on a role with videos :) This has always been a LONG time favorite-----

Orenda Fink - Why Is The Night Sad?

I had this running through my brain this morning.... Meanwhile I enjoyed some incredible broccoli from the farmers market. The most incredible broccoli I have ever had... so sweeet, so soft.

Gurudev hindi song

LOVE LOVE.