The bed is a torture chamber.

I have never been in so much pain in my life.  I feel like absolute hell.  It's a horrible cycle.  I can't sleep because i am in pain and I am in pain because I can't sleep.  And all of this is a result of going for a hike three weeks ago.  This pain is so deep in my body.  It's been absolute hell... i can't relax and spent about 200 hundred dollars and then some at the chiropractor.  Sometimes it seems like the easy way to quit but i know i can't.  The bed is like a torture chamber.  No matter how many times i put the fucking pad on different parts of my body the pain still resides.  It's okay to cry.  It's okay to feel like shit.  It's okay to want to give up.  It's okay that other people don't understand what it's like to have pain so deep you want to die.  It's okay that I can't go out at night.  It's okay that i feel left out and outcast.  It's okay that i was in car accident and my shoulders hurt like fucking hell.  It's been hell the past few months. Between trying different natural remedies to sleep, the car accident, & now this stupid hike.  I tell people what's it like and they tell me to go to the doctor.  The doctor won't do a fucking thing for me.  Sometimes it's so hard to hold on.  I pray to got that this pain subsides and i can feel the light again.  Please God help me. 

Low - Drag

Experiencing pain and feeling Low. I am allowed to wallow once in a while. Isolation.

The Decemberists - "The Mariner's Revenge Song"

So SEXY.

Colin Meloy ..

Colin Meloy is one of the most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes on.  Creative, nerdy, innocent,  musical, & sexy.  His voice is incredibly sexy and I go crazy for this man.  He is incredible to watch live... HIS PASSION..... mmmmmmm ......  My favorite thing to do when i can't sleep is watch Oceanside and pretend I am Annabelle and dream of kissing him passionately  while we lay on the ocean shore.  Colin seems to understand my physical pain .


Sweet Anabelle...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuBOiQ9dMgA

As seen reclining on an ocean swell

As the waves do lather up to lay her down

'til she's fast...

And sleeping

Oh well

I guess I'm something of a ne'er-do-well

Who fell asleep at the pealing of the steeple bell



I'm on track and keeping

But oh

If I could only get you ocean side

To lay your muscles wide... < ( the most beautiful lyric)

It'd be heavenly

Oh...

If I could only coax you overboard

To leave these lolling shores

To get you oceanside.

**Taken by Trees*To Lose Someone [Victoria Bergsman]

I'm on a role with videos :) This has always been a LONG time favorite-----

Orenda Fink - Why Is The Night Sad?

I had this running through my brain this morning.... Meanwhile I enjoyed some incredible broccoli from the farmers market. The most incredible broccoli I have ever had... so sweeet, so soft.

Gurudev hindi song

LOVE LOVE.

My spirit flies to you - Monjes Budistas

SIMPLY BLISS.... UNENDING LOVE OF GOD.

Brian Eno & David Byrne "Strange Overtones"

Was delighted to hear this little diddy on my way to hobby lobby to pick up some toggles. I got two cute little jewelry toggles- one is shaped like a flower and the other is a leaf... can't wait to make some new pieces... :)

Nirmala Rajasekar Veena. Concert 2007 USA

I am so excited to see Nirmala Rajasekar Veena next Wednesday! I will pick up my ticket tomorrow!

LCD Soundsystem - Dance Yrself Clean

When i am in my car I almost always listening to the current. I have heard this song quite frequently lately and i love it!

DEEP layers...

I have had this canvas for a while. It has many deep layers. So here it sits in my parent's garage untouched and unloved. I tried to find the gesso to prime it for another piece but don't feel like moving the ladder about- it's heavy!

Many moons ago... dark and lovely

I will always treasure this box. It was my aunt's when she was little and I adopted it when i was a wee one- i've had it for many moons and this is proof that my art takes on different themes and personalities as i age ... this box was made with passion and pain. I have endured pain's darkest hour. As i sit here and listen to Deva I have come a L-O-N-G way from healing many aspects of myself through meditation, hands on healing, prayer, energy work, putting my life into a spritual master's hands, and surrendering to the will of God. Fibromyalgia can be healed.

ps. I have a thing with women's faces. They cover my body and are often a theme in my collage art.

Bug Haiku

A bug in the air.
A bug flying in my hair.
Bug in my brown curls.

Feisty in my head

I am unable to get feist out of my head all weeeeek. She's been playing in my head non stop! And wouldn't you know it this lovely song was playing at my friends party as soon as i delicately pushed open her screen door...

Feist - Intuition @ Yahoo! Video

Feist How my Heart Behaves

Pascale Petit reading at the International Helicon "Shaar" festival 2009

Jewelry for sale by me :)

Beautiful ocean jasper with a silver toggle clasp... $30 - made with LOVE!

PJ HARVEY video COME ON BILLY

lily for you.

I give a lily to you. This lily of mine was featured in International tattoo magazine last year. The artist is Karl Schneider and you can check out his portfolio at cactustattoo.com. I also have a pin-up design by the Chicago based artist Mitch O' Connell that is featured in Karl's portfolio.

Despite being hormonal and extremely overwhelmed by modern technology I am still able to type these words and click "publish post". (Actually i have had to go back and edit a 5 times!) Between the self check out at wally world and viewing Toy Story 3 a girl is technologically exhausted. For such a simple girl viewing a movie in the theater is something that happens very rarely! I wanted to share this lily with you that is near and dear to my sensitive heart before i lay my head on my pillow and begin to dream...